from Hard Road

This is Gonna Hurt Me Ready To Tell The One Thing This Is What I Pray One Foot Out The Door Summer Why Do You Care What Am I Gonna Do So Much To Say Torque Me, Baby 30/99 If I Give Up My Dream You came home last night, your alibi was airtight, you looked at me I wondered where we failed as I smelled the betrayal when you kissed me You said I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, so just let me say This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you I let the silence linger, you got annoyed I said I beg to differ, you’ve already got yourself a new toy Your heart won’t break, but mine’s had all it can take This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you And get ready for the sound that your heart will make When it finally realizes its mistake You’ve gone on with your life With someone other than your wife Who will someday say to you This is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you I'm ready to tell you now my heartache is almost gone The absence of you is clear, though it's only a physical one You lay on top of me observing my fragile mind You did not rend my soul all at once, you took your time. I saw visions of you in my dreams Faceless and gaunt you were searching for me But I hid in the shadows of winter's moonbeams I'm ready to tell you now, I'm ready to let you go You and the memories, the laughter, and the sorrow It's too hard to hold this pain and I'm too tired to mother these fears It tastes even bitter still, and time wastes into years I saw visions of you in my dreams Faceless and gaunt you were reaching for me But I hid in the shadows of winter's moonbeams You slashed me to the bone by words not your own I never thought you'd treat me that way The boundaries you crossed had doors made for you You knew all the flaws, the structure's weaker walls You lit the fuse and then you walked away Leaving me with visions of you in my dreams Faceless and gaunt you are laughing at me But now I need refuge from these moonbeams So I've got to tell you now It's time to tell you now I'm ready to tell you now, my heartache is almost gone I've hidden for so long there's no place left to run I'm ready to tell you now time has softened me I heard its mocking voice It left me no choice. Your picture's still in my wallet Your letter tucked behind Everyone says I should trash it Get you out of my mind But I don't think I can They don't understand There were good times and bad times and times in between These were some of the best times that I've ever seen There was nothing we couldn't talk about Except for The One Thing we couldn't work out. It's true what they say about love You'll know when it's right It isn't something you look for You'll recognize it on sight You were everything What cruelty can fate bring Everything was perfect or at least I thought it so Love alone is not enough when one thing won't let go I only want one thing I know I too often I bitch and I complain I've been given many gifts in your name Still I ask for one thing We're on this Earth for a reason I thought I’d figured out mine Would you be that kind of God To make my purpose and my passion be at odds Won't you show me the light Show me the way She me a path that leads to better days Don't leaving me hanging for another day Dear God, this is what I pray Damn this one-track mind I'm focused on the one thing I fear I'll never find I put myself in the firing line And at the mercy of time Do I presume to know better than you Or am I paying my dues Maybe it's a mystery, I haven't got a clue Or I don't have the guts to face the truth I'm praying for your mercy I'm praying you'll be kind I'm praying that your will coincides with mine I'm praying for everyone who's left their souls behind 'Cause they didn't get the one thing That possessed their hearts and minds I've been blessed with gifts of the goat Still I've wasted too much time trying to stay afloat And I've sailed much too far to abandon this boat Though I know it's slowly sinking You're wasting your time Wasting your life Waiting for something else to come along You're looking at what isn't Instead of what is Missing the whole point of what life is You could live another life But you are too afraid You take the easy way But it's not too late For you to have more But you've got one foot out the door You once had a dream You shattered it apart Then followed it like pieces of your broken heart Caught up in distractions That take you just so far Then they leave you stranded where you already are Step back and shut the door You'll never know what you came here for And blame your resentment on everything but you Fight against your own creations Abort ideas in gestation Claim you have no inspiration Over on the other side Jesus weeps while you decide You could already have it Instead of wishing for it If you'd stop... Wasting your time Wasting your life Waiting for something else to come along Looking at what isn't Instead of what is Missing the whole point of what life is If the summer were to get here  I'd leave these four walls I'd exit the land of the dead Of light bulbs and remote controls And blankets that plug in If the summer were to come If the summer were to get here I'd leave these four walls I'd enter the land of the living Of greenery and birds  Singing old familiar songs If the summer were to come With a squint in my eye I'd look into the sun And see things I haven't in so long Like white waves dancing on blue water And how beautiful your eyes shine in the sun If the summer were to get here I'd take you in my arms We'd watch the sun go down We'd bathe in the brilliance of magenta fires Then start fires of our own. Why do you care what I feel Why do care what I need Why do you care if I broke up with a lover Why do you care if it’s so How does it help you to know What’s gone on with me one way or another What you really need is your own philosophy What you really need is your own identity Nobody wants to know That my life is just fine Nobody wants to hear a song From a well-adjusted mind They want to know my sorrow They want to share my shame They want to roll around In my agony and pain What they really need is some humility What they really need is to find simplicity And I hate to disappoint you, but there was complicity ‘Cause I know you came here hoping you’d all leave one-up on me Still I must admit I have enjoyed your company ‘Cause I really need your belief in me And you really need my brutal honesty I know you care what I feel I know you care what I need I know you care if I broke up with a lover I know you care if it’s so I know it helps you to know What’s gone on with me one way or another We all need a little sympathy We all need a little bit of God’s mercy I woke up this morning and stumbled through the house Tripping on the piles of dirty clothes I lay down on the floor Been doing this a week or more How long I don't really know What am I gonna do with these feelings I have for you Building up and running through my veins What am I gonna do with these feelings I have for you Burning up and driving me insane The dishes are piled in the sink And that's okay 'cause I can't even eat I have lost my appetite But I would eat if you'd invite me To your place for dinner every night You are oblivious Your brain seems impervious To my not-so-subtle innuendo Maybe you're preoccupied Or are you just a little shy Or do you really love your girlfriend, oh My friends have stopped calling The bills aren't paid I haven't seen the paper or the news I can't take much more of this All I need is just a kiss And the rest of my life with you I have so much to say But I can’t find the words They don't exist or they don't say enough To express all my love If I could show you my heart Show you more than the chambers and blood That pump you throughout my veins Into every single cell You would see how it aches and it breaks in my chest From feelings and sounds that remain unexpressed How I'm bursting at every seam To explain how this love is filling me I have so much to say to you But I don't need to speak I could tell you with one caress With my eyes as you enter me With my sense of urgency I thought I spoke words of love in the past Bold and naive in my youthfulness Believing I'd experienced What should render someone speechless I have so much to say to you I've had many bikes throughout my life It takes a long time to find the one that's right You gotta try them all, give them a test ride I'm gonna love the one who leaves me satisfied I love your vibrations When your revolutions reach their height Don't keep me in suspense You're reading my signals right I once had a bike, she was painted bright red With the slightest touch she'd be burning up tread But there was another who wouldn't accommodate She'd choke and cough and then she'd hesitate The one I got now, her gap is too small I slip in my feeler gauge whenever she stalls She starts to spark and I think that's swell But you get the point so I'm not gonna dwell There are many women who love to mount and ride They have different styles of sitting astride Some like to bend over, some like to lean back Some are chain driven while some prefer the shaft Torque me, baby The timing is right I'm all charged up I'm in overdrive You men might think it's crazy that this topic's in the news And the taxes that you pay have once more been misused But you wouldn't think it crazy if you stood in that line 'Cause you can pee in 30 seconds while it takes us 99. It's just another symptom of the rising gender gap If you took the time to think you'd understand our handicap Maybe you could browse inside a woman's clothing store We no longer wear a bustle but we have to button more We have to unzip from the back or side Hike up a dress or skirt Struggle with our stockings and our girdles and our shirts We have to squat uncomfortably so we don't touch the pot And if we have our periods add one more minute to the clock. You boys have your toilets mounted on the wall in rows You don't have to close a door or take off all your clothes Just zipper down your Levi's and reach on inside there You boys even have accommodating underwear You want us women all dressed up You like us looking nice Well now the time has come my friends for you to pay the price We just want some extra toilets drawn into the design 'Cause it takes you 30 seconds while it takes us 99. Is this God's plan This path in life I follow Or am I off track And how am I to know Do I leave it in His hands Or is He testing me Am I supposed to make a change Force my own destiny Do I give up my dream Make a new start Find a safer road Leave behind my heart If I give up my dream For that secondary trail And I succeed I'll still feel like I failed It used to be so clear I heard the world calling out my name Together we would laugh As we planned my fortune and my fame Like a woman's gentle touch Or snow in the winter Like the Eastern morning Sun I used to be as sure But time is now my enemy I'm lost inside this odyssey I curse my own reality And fade into obscurity The windmills are a fantasy And God is now grading me